Harper Hillman Road to Forgiveness Part I
by MoonShoesPotterFan09
Summary: He never looked at her again. Never spoke to her.This rejection hurt worst of all but she deserved it. He was allowed to be mad..and she would let him. He hated her now, telling him she sought out Alexa because she had a crush on him wouldn't help.She carried her guilt for years until she met him again. Reid/Harper one shot, review for more.


** "Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave." ****Indira Gandhi**

Harper Hillman had not had an easy life, ever since she had fallen out of social standing in tenth grade for subtly standing up for a girl who Alexa had intended to embarrass. She had developed a short temper with the popular girl a year earlier when she took Harper's crush on the school genius and turned it into a ploy to humiliate him publicly. She never forgave herself for it. She remembered vividly the boy that was a senior and a year younger than her, she had thought she was smart getting into high school a year early but this boy..Spencer Reid..he was in a totally different league.

They had been in the same honors biology class, it was her first science credit and his last. She envied how he seemed to know every answer at first, something she had to practice at. Eventually she realized that her jealousy had turned into something more. She found his cracky voice cute and the thick glasses he wore that almost matched her own. She was nerdy, frizzy blonde hair with uneven bangs and long hair she usually wore in a loose pony tail. She also had braces that were scheduled to come off in a year. Yeah. She was excited.

"You like him don't you." A female voice came from beside her. Harper looked over, fixing her glasses on the bridge of her nose. She had been caught staring at him again she was sure. She had done that recently, she used to be good about ignoring how tempting he looked when his tongue would dart out to lick his lower lip or when he would bite it. She blushed and looked at the girl sitting next to her. She had never talked to Alexa before, but she was notorious for being the prettiest girl in school..and the meanest.

"Sorta." Harper found herself confessing. Alexa had dark brown hair and pretty green eyes, an rare combination. Harper found herself jealous. Her eyes were a muddy brown, and unlike Alexa, she wasn't allowed to wear makeup out of the house. Her mother was fixed on one of those "I want you to be a kid as long as you can" phases and nothing Harper could say would knock her out of it. Alexa's bubbly laugh interrupted her again.

"Aww, thats kinda cute actually." Her voice sneered and Harper found herself blushing even harder. Why was she even talking to her? Alexa was the most popular girl in school, though her popularity couldn't help her from failing bio the first time. So here she was, repeating honors biology with underclassmen..nerds. Harper would never hang out with her, she had seen the way she treated other girls and she knew for a fact she was behind many pranks that were pulled on Spencer.

"No, I-I'm fine. I dont need your help." She said, forcing herself not to stutter. It didn't work very well. Alexa sighed, and went back to pretending to take notes while Harper looked back at Spencer. He was actually two years younger, she remembered as she saw him take off his glasses to clean them. She forgot that his birthday was a few weeks after graduation and it was early spring now. Harper didn't want to tell him how she felt, but she did want to get to know him. After class she followed him to the library, they both had the same lunch period and they both used it to study. She would usually trail behind him quietly, sure he didn't notice her. Then Harper would sit towards the opposite section of the library that he would. He was a science kid, she could tell, she was more into fiction than fact and spent most of her time reading books that contributed to her imagination, rather than her academics.

She was about to go to her usual seat when she saw him struggling to get a book on a higher shelf. Spencer sighed, his shoulders slumped and he looked around for something to stand on. Harper bit her lip at this sight. She was a bit taller than him, she knew this was because girls mature faster than boys and he was already a year younger. Should she help him? Working up the courage she walked over and reached up, her arms only slightly longer, and managed to knock the book down, catching it before it hit the ground.

"Thank you." Spencer said, a light blush appearing on his pale cheeks. He had never been very good at talking to girls.

"It was nothing." She mumbled, her gaze falling down to her shoes. He looked as though he was looking for an excuse to run away. She was already talking to him, would it hurt to get to know him further.

"Hey, we have that biology test coming up...study with me?" She asked. He frowned, his smaller hands gripping the book tighter.

"I'm not going to do your study guide for you just because you helped me get a book." He said. Harper looked insulted.

"What? No! Th-Thats not what I meant at all!" She exclaimed, wearing a hurt expression. Spencer deflated a bit,he looked abashed, embarassed he had accused her of that.

"Sorry. Just..thats usually why people talk to me." He explained and she nodded in understanding.

"I understand..It was nice talking to you.." She said, obviously reluctant to go. As she was turning away spencer spoke up quickly.

"If you still want to study..that would be fine..with me, I mean." He rambled and Harper turned around quickly, a grin spreading on her face.

"Ok!" She exclaimed, sitting at the table with him. A few minutes of studying turned into 30 minutes of talking about Star Trek and old Doctor Who. She noticed the way that his eyes would light up, how he would go into lecture mode when she disagreed and how he would spout out statistics when she would ask him questions. More than once she would catch her gaze falling to the way his tongue darted out to wet his lips between thoughts. Her heartbeat would radiate in her throat when that happened.

"Did you hear that they're coming out with a new series of it?" She asked excitedly. Spencer nodded, a grin on his young face.

"Yeah! It's supposed to be good." He said, his biology test forgotten. The clock on the wall distracted him and he frowned.

"Its almost time for class." He said. Harper grimanced and agreed sadly. Getting to know Spencer that last 30 minutes made her like him even more. Looking at him with a strained smile she said goodbye.

"whats wrong?" He asked as she packed up her things to go. Harper grimaced, Spencer said he wanted to be a profiler when he got older, and that meant studying people's expressions and actions.

"Spencer I.." She felt as though she had something stuck in her throat, the words refusing to come out. She swallowed heavily and tried again. "I li-" The bell cut her off and she sighed dejectedly, pulling her books to her slim chest. "I have to go to class." She finally said and turned, walking away from him. She thought back to what Alexa had said to her. The older girl had looked sincere when she said she wanted to help her..maybe she would talk to her again and ask.

It was the idea that Alexa Lisbon would help her that possessed her the rest of the day. she didn't have any other classes with the cheerleader so she would have to wait until the next day to ask. As she sat through the rest of her classes she wondered what the other girl could say that would possibly convince him to go on a date with her. But then again Alexa got any guy she wanted..why wouldnt she be able to convince him. It was this train of thought that brought her face to face with the older teen before biology the next day.

"I thought about what you said.." She stated, her eyes downcast. Occasionally she would look up again and see that Spencer was already in the classroom. He caught her gaze and waved awkwardly at her, confused as to why she would be talking to Alexa. Harper waved back with a small smile then looked back to the girl.

"And?" She prompted.

"I think..I want you to help..me" She admitted. Alexa grinned, clapping her hands together in a way that made Harper think she had been to one too many pep rallies.

"Oh great! I already had so many ideas! Do you know when would be a good time to talk to him? The sooner the better!" She exclaimed. Harper blushed and though back to their conversation yesterday.

"Uhm..He said he would be studying after school today.." She said, one hand clearing some of the bangs from her forehead.

"Awesome! How about you go and talk to him after school, make sure he goes to the field house where I'll be waiting. Make sure he comes alone, unless you want to be there?" She asked. Harper could only imagine what his expression would be at finding out icky Harper Hillman had a crush on him.

"N-no. Thats ok." she said.

"Alright! Then it sounds like a plan.I'll talk to him and then I'll bring him back to the library where you took can kiss and walk into the sunset together!" She said and walked into the classroom right before the bell rang. Harper's cheeks were bright red at the visual. She wasn't so sure that she wanted to kiss him just yet, just..wanted to be with him. It was odd. She wanted him to like her back, even if it was only for the last few months he would be there. Turning on shaky legs she walked into the classroom and took the seat next to Spencer in the front of the class room.

"What was that about?" He asked, looking down at his papers. "Unless..never mind, its none of my business." He said, starting to copy down the notes on the board. Harper sighed, taking out her own notebook and doodled in the corner of the page.

"It was nothing."

After school she grabbed her books quicky, her heart beating so hard she felt a little lightheaded. Making her way to the library she saw Spencer sitting in his usual spot and reading a book at the speed of light..well not really but faster than she could ever dream. Taking a deep breath to fend off hyperventilation she approached him, he looked up and smiled when he saw her, nearly causing her asthma to act up.

"H-hey." She said. Spencer stood up the way his mother told him to when he saw a girl.

"Hi." He said quickly, one hand pushing up the glasses on the bridge of his nose. Harper's mind went into overdrive. Remembering what she was supposed to tell him, she quickly delivered her well rehearsed lines.

"Alexa Lisbon says she wants to meet you out at the field house." She said quickly. Spencer's eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Me?" He asked, making sure he heard right. Harper could only nod and he smiled.

"Watch my stuff ok?" He asked, taking off in the direction of the field house. Harper sighed and sat down, looking at the book he had been reading. It was an advanced anatomy book. She flipped through the pages, reading bits and parts. She was nearly at the end of the book when the librarian kicked her out. She gathered up Spencer's things and walked down to where she knew his locker was, gently placing the books in his bag and looked out the window. There were tons of kids outside, most of them were walking away from the field house and laughing. Harper felt her stomach drop and she abandoned his books and took off in a sprint. She had almost reached the field house when she saw Alexa walking away, some quarter back behind her.

"Hey!" She sounded happy.

"Where is he?" Harper demanded, stopping to cross her arms.

"Who? Oh , trust me..you _don't_ want to go that way." She said, stepping infront of the shorter girl when she tried to continue they way the others were leaving from.

"Where. ." She asked, angry.

"Hey Brad? Would you drive this pipsqueak home?" Alexa asked and Brad shrugged, grabbing one of her arms and pulling her to his car. Harper had a rather large lump of dread in her throat. "What..What's going on?" She demanded when he practically shoved her into his car.

"We taught him a lesson." Was all the football player said. Harper had tears lineing her eyes as she looked out of the front window. What had she done? This was her fault. She gulped and got out of the car quickly when he pulled up to her house. Walking to the front door she marched up to her room and sulked. What had they done? Why wouldn't they want her to go and see..it must have been something horrible. It had been maybe three and half hours since she got home when her mother called up to her.

"Harper! Ashley is on the phone!" She said. Ashley was her cousin who was pretty much her best friend. Harper sighed and went downstairs, holding the phone against her ear with a solemn expression.

"What." Her voice was flat and cold.

"Did you see what happened today? It was horrible." Her cousin sounded hystercial. Harper's eyes widened.

"No, what happened?" She demanded.

"They..They stripped him and..strung him up..I don't know how he's going to get down." She sobbed. Ashley was like an older version of herself. Emotional.

"Do you have the car?" She asked, a plan forming in her mind.

"Yeah..It's almost 8, and it'll take me at least and hour to get there!" She exclaimed. It was no suprise that she had guessed her friend's plan. They told each other everything, she was the only other girl who knew about Harper's crush on Spencer Reid boy genius.

"We need to do something." Was all that Harper said before hanging up the phone. The next 60 minutes were tedious and she had to stop herself from ripping out her frizzy blonde hair from its roots. She grabbed a quilt, sure that it was cold out and it would be better to cover him while they looked for his clothes. Harper was in the middle of dialing Ashley's number when a knock was on the door. Sighing she grabbed her bag and didn't even bother to check who it was. Ashley had the passenger door left open and ready for Harper to get in and they sped off to the school, getting there nearly at ten at night.

"What happened?" She asked, preparing herself.

"I couldn't stay and watch the whole thing." Ashley started as they climbed over the fence that separated the football field from the outside world. Harper needed help, her stick like arms barely strong enough to support herself. "But they grabbed him, he looked so confused. They beat him up...one of the guys landed a kick to his head. I wanted to stop them but what could I do? Most of the staff had left by then...and I couldn't take on a bunch of jocks! I mean, look at me!" She exclaimed, tears returning to her eyes. It was true, her and her cousin were nearly polar opposites in the looks department. Where Harper was stick thin with light blond frizzy hair and thick glasses, her cousin we chubby, to put it nicely, and had dark straight hair. They both had about the combined strength of a 5 year old throwing a temper tantrum. There would have been no way she could stop them.

"They stripped him. He was crying, half conscious and begging to be let go. He passed out before I left. The football team stayed even later than everyone else to make sure no one tried to help." they were almost to the field. Harper could see the back of his arms that were tied to the goal post. She took off in a sprint. She could tell he was still unconscious, his glasses broken and his lip had stopped bleeding a little while ago, though his face was still bruised and a bit swollen. "Shit. Shit. Fuck. Shit." She hissed, taking out the Swiss army knife her father had given her when she used to love going camping as a family. She'd never had a reason to use it until now. Ashley was on the front, she had taken the quilt out of the bag and held it in front of him so when he fell she would catch him in it.

Harper made quick work of cutting the roped and his body fell like a marionette that's strings had been cut. He was still unconscious when the girls found his clothes and piled them up next to him. Harper had tears in her eyes as she took out bandages and worked on him a bit before he stared to stir. Dropping the first aid kit next to him she left a small note on top and ran to behind the shed, looking at he wake with misty eyes. Spencer sat up carefully, one hand going to gingerly touch his sore abdomen. The guys had refrained from breaking anything but he would have bruises there for awhile. As he found a pair of glasses next to him he put the on. They weren't his and the prescription was a bit off but it was better than nothing. Ashley shot Harper and odd look that she would leave him her glasses.

Spencer dressed quickly and left. They girls had also left him bus fare. Harper knew he wouldn't want to ride home with them..he probably thought this was all her fault and would never speak to her again. She couldn't blame him, it was her fault. Harper fought back sobs when they finally returned to Ashley's car, Ashley didn't ask and just drove her younger cousin home. The next day in school Spencer glared at her, obviously fighting back the urge to scream horrible things at her. He never looked at her again. Never spoke to her. Whenever she would get matched with him in bio he would ask for a different partner. This rejection hurt worst of all but she deserved it. He was allowed to be mad..and she would let him. He hated her now, telling him she sought out Alexa because she had a crush on him wouldn't help.

She carried her guilt for years until she met him again.

** "A strong hatred is the best lamp to bear in our hands as we go over the dark places of life, cutting away the dead things men tell us to revere." **** Rebecca West**

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So this is just something I've been thinking of for awhile. For now it's a one shot of what could have happened. Review if you think it should turn into an actual story :) -Sara A.


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